留意最美的安排 Noticing the Most Beautiful Plan

(本文刊載於台灣醒報 2016年12月29日)

        曾幾何時，「看電影」成了我生活中不可或缺的一部分。對我來說，電影融合了多種藝術元素，無論是劇情、人物、音樂、攝影、故事鋪陳、角色特質、情感意境、文化衝擊、人生哲理…等層面，電影就像一個百寶箱，走入電影世界，總會發現一些寶物，帶來某種情感上的共鳴，甚至是心靈的啟迪。

        I’m not exactly sure when going to the movies became an integral part of my life. For me, a film combines a variety of artistic elements on so many levels, whether it's drama, characters, music, photography, storytelling, character traits, tone and mood, culture shock, life's philosophies, etc. A movie is like a treasure chest; stepping into the world of a movie, you'll always find something of value that carries with it a kind of emotional resonance, or even spiritual enlightenment.

        最近上映的電影《最美的安排》(Collateral Beauty)，光是看預告片就深深地被吸引，除了堅強的演員陣容，更是被富張力的劇情所吸引。主角原本是一位熱愛生命、充滿創意的廣告公司老闆，但他痛失愛女之後，就變得消極厭世，完全不跟人溝通交談，他後來開始寫信，但卻不是寫給任何人，而是寫信給「事物」，分別寫給「時間」、「愛」與「死亡」，這三個元素聯結了世上每一個人，我們都渴望愛與被愛，都希望擁有更多時間，都害怕死亡。

        For the recently released film Collateral Beauty, just the trailer alone is deeply enticing. In addition to a strong cast, I was also drawn by its riveting plot. The protagonist is originally someone who loves life, a very creative advertising company boss, but after the tragic loss of his daughter, he becomes pessimistic, and completely stops communicating with other people. Eventually, he starts to write letters, yet he still won't write to an actual person, instead he writes to "things", writing to "Time", "Love" and "Death", three elements that connect everyone in the world: we all want to love and be loved, we all wish that we had more time, and we all fear death.

       有意思的是，這三個元素化身為人物開始了與主角之間的對話，其實也彷彿在同時間展開與每一個觀眾對談，在一連串的矛盾掙扎之後，我們終將發現：別讓悲傷帶走生命的美好。「時間」是禮物，要珍惜善用；「愛」是無所不在，要化為行動；「死亡」是一種告別的藝術，要面對而非逃避它。即使在生命的黑暗低谷，仍要去留意生活週遭會出現美麗的安排，萬事萬物之間皆有關聯，失望和挫折的背後，都暗藏著美麗的祝福，都有隨之而來最美的安排。

       The interesting thing is, the three elements become real characters that start to have conversations with the protagonist. Actually, it's also as if they're simultaneously talking to everyone in the audience. Following a series of contradictions and trials, we eventually discover that: we shouldn't let sorrow diminish the beauty of life. "Time" is a gift, to cherish and put to good use, "Love" is limitless and should be put into action, "Death" is a kind of artistic farewell, we must confront it rather than avoid it. Even through life's dark downs, we still have to notice life's beautiful design all around us, the interconnectedness of all things, and that behind disappointment and frustration are beautiful blessings in hiding, all of which are part of the most magnificent plan.

        這樣的人生態度，如果是出自對上帝的信靠，相信上帝對你的人生有「最美的安排」，我們就會活得更有踏實感，生命充滿意義與盼望，因為我們信靠神的應許，正如聖經羅馬書八章28節所說：「我們曉得萬事都互相效力，叫愛神的人得益處」。這句話很適合成為我們的座右銘，在生活中大大小小的事情上，去體驗這句話的真實性。

        If this outlook on life is directed toward faith in God, then by believing God has a "magnificent plan" for your life, we can live a more sensible life full of meaning and hope due to our belief in God's promise, as the Bible says in Romans 8:29 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him". This reading is very fitting to become our motto, and in all matters of life big and small, we can experience the truth of this sentence.

        事實上，有趣的是，我在觀看這部電影《最美的安排》之前，先經歷了一場「最美的安排」！ 那天剛好是這部電影在台灣上映的第一天，我特別空出時間，迫不及待地要去欣賞這部電影，然而我到了平日熟悉的戲院才發現，當天戲院的售票處正在整修，而臨時售票窗口不多，導致非假日時間也大排長龍，這狀況超出我原本預期的。隨著時間一分一秒地過去，眼看著開演時間愈來愈逼近，只剩5分鐘就要開演了，但前方仍有一條長長的人龍，我真擔心看不到電影開頭。此時我突然興起一個念頭，我考慮放棄已排近半小時的隊伍，想去賭賭運氣，考驗一下自己的臨場反應和智慧，去使用戲院新安裝的「自動購票機」，當時只有兩個人在排隊，我猜想很多人都不確定如何使用這台新機器，所以這麼少人用吧！

        Actually, the funny thing is, before I watched Collateral Beauty, I was experiencing my own "magnificent plan"! On the day the film was released in Taiwan, I had specifically made time to go. I couldn't wait to go see the film; however, it wasn't until I arrived at my usual theater, that I discovered the box office was being renovated that day, and temporarily there wouldn't be many ticket windows available, which resulted in long lines even though it wasn't during peak times, a situation I hadn't originally planned for. As time passed minute by minute, I watched as show time approached steadily closer. With only five minutes left until it started, there was still a long, long line of people ahead of me, which made me worry I'd miss the beginning of the film. At that point, a thought occurred to me, I considered abandoning the line I had already been waiting a half hour in, thinking to make a gamble and test my own spontaneity and wisdom by using the theater's newly installed automatic ticket vending kiosk. At the time there were only two people in line, and I suppose a lot of people aren't sure how to use the new machines, cause there weren't many people using it!

        雖然排隊買票是生活中微不足道的小事，但我至今依舊記得踏出排隊隊伍那一刻的些許忐忑，那需要某種勇氣，因為一旦踏出去就回不來了，就等於放棄先前排隊所付出的時間和精力，也等於要離開已習慣的舒適圈，去迎接未知的挑戰。然而同時，內心又有一股莫名的力量催促著我快點離開，繼續墨守成規排隊下去，一定會錯過電影開演，因此如果發現此路不通，要勇於改變，勇於嘗試新機會，勇於學習新事物，別先被恐懼感俘虜了，拋棄那些「我不會」、「我不行」、「我怕…」等等自我否定的話語，何不放手一搏？無論結果成功或失敗，至少曾經朝目標努力過，況且嘗試新事物，一定會帶來新的體驗與收穫。

       Although waiting in line to buy tickets is an inconsequential matter in life, to this day I still remember that moment of hesitation before stepping out of line, that it took a certain kind of courage, because once you step out you can't go back, which meant you'd have given up the time and energy it cost to wait in line, and it also meant you'd have to leave your comfort zone to confront an unknown challenge. At the same time, however, my heart felt an inexplicable force urging me to quickly leave, to go on continuing a rigid adherence to waiting in line, meant that I would certainly miss the start of the film. Therefore, if you discover the path has a dead end, you need courage to change, courage to try new opportunities, courage to study new things, to not be a prisoner of fear, to abandon the "I don't know how"s, the "I'm not good enough"s, the "I'm afraid"s, and other words of self doubt, why not just take the plunge? Whether the result is success or failure, at the very least you'll have started working toward a goal; moreover, you’ve tried something new, which can bring about new experiences and rewards.

        所以我決定踏出信心的一步，征服恐懼，也許希望就在轉角。面對看似複雜的大型自動購票機，我盡量讓自己保持冷靜，照著螢幕指示自己選影片、選座位、選信用卡優惠方案，最後自己順利刷卡成功，列印出電影票券，擺脫了大排長龍，準時入場，覺得好酷！我也發現這台新機器其實蠻方便好用的，沒有想像中困難，還節省了好多排隊買票的時間。勇於嘗試，學會使用新事物，真的很令人開心，很有成就感。最重要的是，原本看似遇到麻煩事，反而從中有新的領悟，並讓你學到新事物，這算是觀看電影《最美的安排》之前，先體驗到的美麗安排，也深信這份體驗，這樣最美麗的安排，會不經意地在生命中、在萬事萬物裡綻放著，因為神就是愛，祂能讓萬事，就是所有的事，都互相效力，叫我們得益處。「最美的安排」無處不在，只要我們願意留心聽、留心看!

        So I decided to take the first step of confidence, and conquer my fear; perhaps hope was around the corner. Confronting the seemingly vastly complex automatic ticket vendor, I tried to keep myself calm, following the directions on the screen to choose the video I wanted, selected a seat, chose the credit card rewards program, and finally my credit card swipe succeeded, the tickets printed out immediately. I avoided the long line, got in to the movie on time, and it felt so cool! I also realized these new machines are actually really easy to use, they aren't as difficult as I imagined, and you can save a lot of time by not waiting in line to buy tickets. The courage to try, and learning how to use something new, made me happy and gave me a sense of accomplishment. Most importantly, what normally seems like an encounter with an annoying situation, can instead provide new insights, which allows us to study new things. Just like before watching Collateral Damage, I experienced a beautiful plan, and I'm convinced this experience, this kind of magnificent plan, will inadvertently bloom, in life, and in all things, because God is love, He can make everything, all things, work together to our benefit. The "magnificent plan" is everywhere, as long as we are willing to listen carefully, and look carefully!

作者:譚亞菁 Dec.18, 2016

Translated by Parker Gadbois

動與靜、靜與動 Motion and Calm

       

       
(本文刊載於基督教論壇報 2016年3月5日)

      話語是帶著影響力的，也許就在輕鬆的言談之間……猶記得幾年前的一個秋季，大兒子唸國小附設幼兒園時，我參加了學校家長會舉辦的單車半日遊，在這趟愉快的淡水河單車之旅，我聽見家長們彼此輕鬆的交談，還記得有一位國小家長問到：「你們會願意帶孩子請假出去玩或旅行嗎？」 

      Words are influential, even in casual conversation.
      I still remember fall a few years ago, when my eldest son was enrolled in the school's attached Kindergarten, I participated in the PTA's afternoon bike ride. During this happy bike trip on DanShui River, I heard parents casually chatting with each other, and I still remember an elementary school parent ask, "Would any of you be willing to take leave and bring your child out to play or travel?"

      我還記得當時有兩位國小高年級的家長異口同聲地說：「當然願意！」我當下覺得有點兒吃驚，心想：「請假出去玩？這有點兒不妥吧！」但其實這問題沒有標準答案，關鍵在於你如何看待「學習」這件事。這段家長之間的談話內容，也潛移默化地帶給我新的啟發，人的想法是會改變的，幾年後當我的大兒子讀小六，小兒子讀小三時，我決定在學期中，避開寒暑假和假日人潮，帶孩子們出國來趟四天三夜香港自由行！
  
       I remember at that time there were two parents of 5th graders who unanimously said, "of course we would!". I immediately felt a little surprised, thinking "Taking leave to go play? That just seems a bit wrong!" Actually, there's no right answer to this question, the key is in how you approach "Learning". The contents of this conversation among parents had also unknowingly given me new inspiration. People's ideas do change. A few years later, when my eldest was in 6th grade, and my youngest was in third grade, I decided that, during the school year, to avoid the summer, winter break, and weekend crowds, I would bring my kids abroad on an independent trip for four days and three nights in Hong Kong!

       旅行是生活的一部份，在陌生的土地上探索，有驚喜、有冒險，有開心也有不開心的事。尤其是和孩子們一起自助旅行，一個媽咪帶著兩個活潑好動、又是很有自己的主見而非所謂「聽話型」的小男生出國旅行，實在不是一件輕鬆簡單的事，旅途充滿挑戰，但卻是很值得回味的親子旅程。記得當我們三人走在香港地鐵狹長的人行通道時，牆壁上寫著大大的一行字，吸引了我們的目光：「這世界根本就是一本書，如果你不走出去，就只讀了一頁！」好喜歡這句話，旅行就是在閱讀世界這本書，旅行本身就是一種很棒的學習過程，一切都是值得的！

       Travel is a part of life. In exploring new lands there are surprises, adventures, and happy and unhappy things. Especially traveling with the kids by myself, a mommy bringing abroad two lively little boys who are also of their own minds and not what you would call the obedient type, wasn't exactly a relaxing or simple affair. The journey was full of challenges, but it was a worthwhile and memorable journey with a mother and her sons. I remember when the three of us walked in the long narrow passages of the Hong Kong subway, something written on the wall in a line of big letters caught our attention: "Essentially, the world is just a book, and if you don't explore it, then you've only read one page!" I really like this sentence, traveling is like reading the book of the world, travel is a great process for learning in and of itself, all of it is valuable!

       台灣是一個四面環海、高山林立的美麗島嶼，身為台灣人，「看山看海」是一種熟悉的感覺。然而，在中西融合、多元文化、貿易發達的香港，最令我難以忘懷的竟是「香港的海」。同樣是大海，台灣的海波浪滔滔，沙灘綿延，聽聽海浪的聲音，「動中帶靜」；香港的海寧靜平穩，眾多小島與船隻點綴在海面上，小島的純淨，各式大小船隻來來往往，「靜中帶動」。

       Taiwan is a beautiful island, surrounded by ocean, inlaid with tall mountains. As a Taiwanese person, 'see the mountain, see the ocean' is a kind of familiar feeling. However, in the culturally diverse, and sophisticated free-trading of Hong Kong where east meets west, the most unforgettable sight to me was Hong Kong's ocean. They are both open ocean. Taiwan's ocean waves are choppy, with long stretches of shore; listening to their sounds, there is calm amidst motion. Hong Kong's ocean is tranquil and steady. Numerous small islands and boats dot the coast, the islands pure, boats of various shapes and sizes coming and going, there is motion amidst calm.

       在旅途的行進中，別只顧著趕行程，必須花時間停下腳步，靜心閱讀週遭的世界，用心捕捉觸動人心的感動，這正是一種「動中帶靜」的體驗與學習。我們都需要在安靜中沉澱，在沉澱中帶出動力。我想到聖經中的一句話：「你們要安靜 (要休息)，要知道我是神」（詩篇46:10）。每當安靜地讀聖經，聆聽神的聲音時，這看似靜態的讀經時光，卻是充滿生命動力與喜悅的時刻，「靜中帶動」。

        On the road of each journey, we shouldn't merely rush through; we must spend time to stop our pace and calmly read the world around us with the intention of capturing heartwarming emotions, which is precisely a kind of 'calm amidst motion ' experience and learning. We all need to settle in peace, settling will give rise to power. I thought of a quote from the Bible: "Be still (rest), and know that I am God" (Psalms 46:10). Whenever peacefully reading the Bible, listening to the voice of God, these seemingly static times while reading, are actually moments filled with life's power and joy: motion amidst calm.

       此刻的我，正在寫作。寫作的過程看似安靜又孤獨，實則活潑與自由，彷彿在進行一場心靈的旅遊和探險之旅。隨著鍵盤的敲打聲，生命在「動與靜」、「靜與動」之間流動，來回穿梭著……

       In this moment, I am writing. The writing process appears quiet and lonely, but it is in fact lively and free, as if my spirit is on a journey of travel and adventure. Life's 'motion vs. calm' and 'calm vs. motion' flows back and forth with the tapping of keystrokes...

作者:譚亞菁 Feb.20, 2016

Translated by Parker Gadbois

星星的聯想 Starry Thoughts

     

 (本文刊載於基督教論壇報 2015年5月6日)      

      
      有多久沒瞧見滿天星斗？好想念到無光害的野外郊區，躺在一大片柔軟的草地上，呼吸著青草的芳香，張開雙臂擁抱天空，仰天凝望滿天繁星。一顆顆璀璨的星星，你究竟離我有多遠？在遼闊的星光下，心情多麼舒暢，不禁讚嘆宇宙的浩大，深感自身的渺小，思想造物主的奇妙創造。浩大與渺小的強烈對比令我震撼，也令我著迷。在廣闊無垠的星空下，不知不覺中，把愁煩拋向天際。

      How long has it been since you've seen a starry sky? I miss going to suburban fields, absent of light pollution, laying on top a large patch of soft grass, breathing its fragrance, and with arms outstretched, embrace the sky, gazing at the heavens above filled with stars. For every bright star I see, how far are you away from me? Beneath boundless starlight, my mood is so relaxed; I can't help but admire the vast universe, feel my own insignificance, and think about our Creator's wonderful work. The immense contrast between vastness and insignificance shocks me, yet also fascinates me. Under this endless stretch of starry sky, unconsciously, I toss my troubles skyward.

      當黑夜來臨，抬頭仰望成了一種習慣。雖然市區光害嚴重，仍喜歡在夜晚抬頭仰望星空，尋找著最閃亮的一顆星，如果同時瞧見了好多顆閃亮的星星，彷彿每一顆星都代表一份祝福，明天會是好天氣，八九不離十。

      When night falls, I've made a habit of looking up. Even though the city's light pollution is severe, at night I still enjoy stargazing, looking for the brightest star, and if I happen to find a lot of bright stars, it's as if each star represents a blessing, like tomorrow's weather will most likely be good.

      憂鬱症是現代人的文明病之一，我周遭也有一些受憂鬱或躁鬱症所苦的朋友。通常他們分享心情故事時，我顯少給意見，而是扮演聆聽者或陪伴者的角色。基本上他們不需要一大堆建議，因為理智上他們都知道，別對他們說：這沒什麼好煩的！我發現他們大多數心思細膩、完美主義，對人很有愛心，把許多責任往自己身上扛，但常覺得自己做得不夠好、愛得不夠多，因此容易自我責備而產生憂鬱

      Depression is one of the diseases of our modern civilization. Even I have a number of close friends suffering from depression or bi-polar disorder. Often, whenever they share their feelings, I refrain from giving advice, and rather play the role of listener or supporter. Essentially, they don't need a lot of advice, because they have sense enough to already know, I won't say to them things like "That's not such a big deal!" I find most of them are thoughtful, perfectionist, caring towards others, and put a lot of responsibility on themselves, but they often feel as though they're not good enough, that they don't love enough. As a result, it's easy to reproach themselves and develop depression.

      那天晚上，我踏入一道厚重的門，通過警衛仔細的安全檢查，接著又通過另一道冰冷的鐵門，進入精神病院探視躁鬱症發作的朋友。這地方有一種被囚禁的感受，完全與外界隔絕。長長的走道兩旁有數個房間，房間裡的病友似乎各自活在自己所架構的世界中，各自活在屬於自己的神秘星球上。

      That night, I entered a heavy door, passed through the guards' thorough security check, then passed through another cold iron door, and entered the mental hospital to visit a friend having an episode of bi-polar disorder. This place had a feeling of being trapped, completely isolated from the outside. Down a long corridor lined with several rooms, patients inside seem to each live in their own structural worlds, each living on their own mysterious planets.

      我看見我朋友時，她的心情已平穩許多，正坐在床上摺著紙星星。她用五顏六色的細長紙條，透過她的巧手摺出一顆顆、一袋袋亮麗的紙星星，她告訴我每一顆紙星星都代表一個祝福，她藉此打發鬱悶，也希望快點出院。

      When I saw my friend, her mood had already stabilized greatly; she was sitting on the bed, folding paper stars. She used colorful strips of elongated paper, and with her skilled hands folded each star. She had brilliant bags of paper stars; she told me every star represented a blessing. This was how she passed the depression while hoping for a swift discharge.

      她出院後，就將她在醫院摺的一袋袋紙星星送給她的朋友們，謝謝大家的關心。我還記得當她送給我一袋紙星星時，她真誠地對我說：「每一顆紙星星都代表一個祝福，願你美夢成真！」我當下聽了好感動，我也感受到當她在看不見星空的病房裡，實際上她看見了好多好多閃亮的星星！因為「付出愛」！

      After her release, she took those bags of paper stars she made at the hospital and gave them to her friends, to thank everyone for their concern. I still remember when she gave me a bag of paper stars, she spoke to me sincerely, "Each paper star represents a blessing, I hope your dreams come true!" I was moved when I heard this, and I felt that while she was in her hospital room unable to see starry skies, in reality she saw many, many shining stars! Because it was a "labor of love"!

      從那天開始，因著這袋紙星星，我的孩子們就此展開他們的築夢之旅！當他們做了值得獎勵的事，我就會給他們一顆紙星星做為鼓勵，集滿十顆紙星星就能換溫馨小禮物。

      From that day on, because of this bag of paper stars, my children set out on the journey of their dreams! Whenever they do something worthy of reward, I give them a paper star as encouragement; after receiving ten paper stars, they can exchange them for a nice little gift.

      豈不是嗎？每一顆星都代表一份祝福。在暗夜中，抬頭仰望心靈的那片星空。明天會是好天氣，八九不離十。

      Isn't it true though? That each star represents a blessing. In the dark of night, look up to the starry sky of your own spirit. We'll have good weather tomorrow, most likely.

作者:譚亞菁 Apr. 24, 2015
Translated by Parker Gadbois

婚姻的迷思 The Myth of Marriage

       

        

(本文刊載於國度復興報 2015年3月8日)          

       無論東、西方，關於愛情的書籍、歌曲、戲劇或電影，多得不勝枚舉。舉凡莎翁名劇「羅密歐與茱麗葉」、中國文學名著「紅樓夢」、經典愛情電影「亂世佳人」、「鐵達尼號」、瓊瑤的愛情小說和電視劇等等，而流行歌曲，更是一大半是情歌。「愛情」這個主題，似乎永遠談不完也聽不膩！因為在每一個人的心靈深處，都渴望「愛與被愛」。

        Whether in the East or West, there are countless books, songs, plays, and movies about love. Like Shakespeare's famous tragedy "Romeo and Juliet", Chinese Literature's famous masterpiece "Dream of Red Mansions", the classic love movies "Gone With the Wind", "Titanic', and Chiung Yao's love stories and television dramas, etc., as well as pop music, half of which are all love songs. "Love" is a theme that seemingly never has enough said about it and never gets old! Because in deep in everyone's mind, we all long to "love and be loved".

       然而，渴望愛又怕受傷害，是常見的矛盾情結，現代人的「恐婚症」比例和「離婚率」不斷攀升，年輕人的不婚、不生，有時確實急壞了父母親。記得上次去北京旅遊時，我在中山公園瞧見了一幅令我感到驚奇的景象：當時，在公園河邊一整排的楊柳樹下，擠滿了人群，我好奇地沿著河畔向人群走去，沿途看見許多中老年人坐在小板凳上，每張板凳前方的地面上，都貼著一大張紙，我仔細觀察那些紙上究竟寫些什麼，突然恍然大悟，原來這是「相親大會」！每張紙上都寫著自己孩子擁有的條件，和希望對象具備的條件，清楚列出包括學歷、面貌、房子、薪水、身高……等的要求。現場大多是未婚男女的爸爸媽媽，急切地為自家子女尋找對象。雖然親眼目睹熱鬧滾滾的「相親大會」，覺得很新奇有趣，但卻伴隨著另一種感嘆，深深感覺到，選擇另一半像在選「商品」一般，讓人不禁納悶，這樣將人「物化」的婚姻，會幸福嗎？

        However, the desire for love and the fear of getting hurt, is a common ambivalence. Nowadays, marriage phobia and divorce rates are on the rise. Young people don't marry, don't have kids, truly gives parents anxiety. I remember last time I went on a trip to Beijing, I saw a scene at Zhongshan Park that surprised me: At that time, underneath a row of willow trees on the river in the park, was packed with people. I curiously walked toward the crowd by the riverside. Along the way I saw many older people sitting on benches, stuck on the ground in front of each bench was a large sheet of paper. I closely examined those papers to see what was written exactly, when suddenly I realized, it was a "Blind Date Convention"! Each paper had written their child's characteristics, and the characteristics their child desired in a partner, clearly stated, including education, appearance, housing, salary, height, etc. requirements. A majority of the people on-site were the dads and moms of unmarried children, eagerly searching for spouses on behalf of their son or daughter. Although I witnessed a lively scene at the "Blind Date Convention", thinking it was new and interesting, but at the same time I felt a kind of lament, deeply feeling like selecting your other half was like selecting "merchandise", making people unable to help but wonder, are people in this kind of "materialistic" marriage going to be happy?

       前陣子看了一部頗受好評的電影「控制」(Gone Girl)，這部電影充滿懸疑的氣氛，男主角尼克在結婚紀念日的早晨，發現妻子愛咪無故失蹤，從人間蒸發。 原本一切線索都指向尼克是冷血的殺妻兇手，最後其實是妻子精心設計的騙局。這部電影描述了一段變調的婚姻關係，而且正如電影的中文譯名「控制」，點出了整部電影的核心，就如片中的台詞，尼克：「我們在一起不會快樂的，只會控制彼此，互相傷害、憎恨。」 愛咪：「但這就是婚姻。」當我聽到這段對話，突然閃過一個念頭：如果我還沒結婚，聽見這樣定義婚姻，早就嚇壞了，還有誰敢結婚？

        
        I recently saw a critically acclaimed film "Gone Girl". This film is filled with an atmosphere of suspense, the male protagonist Nick discovers on the morning of his wedding anniversary that his wife Amy disappeared with no explanation, vanished into thin air. At first, all clues point to Nick as being the cold-blooded murderer of his wife, until later it was shown to be his wife's elaborate hoax. The film depicts a shift in tone for marital relationships, and as the Chinese translation of "control" for the film's name points out its central theme, so too do these lines from the film: Nick: "Yes, I loved you and then all we did was resent each other, try to control each other. We caused each other pain." Amy: "That's marriage." When I heard this dialogue, a sudden thought flashed through my mind: If I wasn't married yet, and heard this definition of marriage, I'd be frightened, who still dares to get married?

       說來有趣，結婚超過十年之後，有時會被人好奇地問到：為何能和另一個人相處這麼久，難道不會失去愛的感覺嗎？換句話說，我想這個問題就是那句老話「婚姻是愛情的墳墓嗎？」我覺得其實從某個角度來說，「婚姻才是愛情的開端」，這種感觸，是我結婚超過十年之後，才漸漸體會到的。

        Interestingly enough, after over a decade of marriage, sometimes I'll be asked by people: How is it that you are able to be with another person for so long and yet not lose the feeling of love? In other words, I think this question is just like the old saying "Is marriage the tomb of love?" Actually, I feel as though, in a certain sense, "marriage is the beginning of love", such are the feelings that I've only begun to slowly experience after over ten years of marriage.

        有一個關於婚姻的比喻，非常貼切，那就是婚姻好比「拼圖」，每一小片拼圖都有不同的凹凸缺口，在拼圖的過程中，必須不斷地翻轉、調整一片片拼圖的方位，直到每片拼圖的缺口彼此相合，最終完成整幅圖畫。

 There is a metaphor about marriage which is quite apt, and it is that marriage is like a "puzzle". Every little piece of the puzzle has different bumps and gaps, and in the course of piecing it together, we have to constantly flip, turn, and adjust each puzzle piece's position until every puzzle piece notches together, finally completing the entire picture.

      這個拼圖的過程，就像實際的婚姻生活，兩個來自不同家庭背景的人，沒有任何一方是完美的，為了要使自己和對方的生命圖畫更加完整，需要時常地彼此磨合，這個磨合調整的過程通常並不浪漫，甚至很不愉快，距離所謂的「浪漫愛情」似乎很遙遠。如果我們在婚姻裡，把焦點放在愛的感覺上，這樣的婚姻很難走得長久，因為「憑感覺」是不牢靠的，就像海中的波浪，忽上忽下，變化莫測。

The puzzle process is just like actual married life, two people from different family backgrounds, neither side of which is perfect, in order to make their own and their partner's life picture more complete, need to frequently "butt heads" with each other. This "break-in" adjustment process is often dull, almost unpleasant, and seems far removed from so-called "romantic love". If we are in a marriage, and place focus on the feeling of love, this kind of marriage will be difficult to sustain, because those "feelings" are not solid; they, just like waves in the ocean, have ups and downs, and change unpredictably.

      在婚姻「拼圖」的調整磨合中，隨著時間的推移，你愈能發現，愛的感覺只是愛情的某一個面向，原來愛情的元素絕非只停留在愛情感受上，愛情還包括許多看似不浪漫，卻是更深入的層次，除了最基本的彼此信任，還有彼此包容、彼此饒恕。正如聖經所教導的「愛的真諦」：愛是恆久忍耐，又有恩慈，愛是不嫉妒……凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐，愛是永不止息。深信如此深度的「真愛」永不失敗，是婚姻成功的秘訣！婚姻生活正是培育「真愛種子」的最佳場所。

        During marriage's "puzzle" adjustment phase, as time goes on, the more you realize the feeling of love is just one side of it, and that the original element of love is certainly not the only thing encompassed by experiencing love. Love also includes much of what is seemingly unromantic, because it is on a deeper level, and aside from basic mutual trust, there is mutual tolerance, and mutual forgiveness. As the Bible instructs us for "the true meaning of love": Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy...it always protects, it always trusts, it always hopes, it always perseveres. Love never fails. Conviction that such a depth of "true love" never fails, is the secret of a successful marriage! Married life is the best place to nurture "the seed of true love".

       我曾經認為，很少女生不愛甜言蜜語，不愛鮮花禮物，不愛讚美之言。平日對待女生，就應該嘴巴甜一點，多讓步一些、多幽默一些，這麼容易就可以讓女生很開心，為何不做？這也曾是我對我老公的不滿與疑問。舉一個生活實例來說，當我用心為家人煮一頓豐盛晚餐，我和孩子們常吃得津津有味，但我先生則是好吃就說「還可以」，覺得不好吃時，甚至不吃！之前，我都會為此生氣，但漸漸地，我體會到「真實」的可貴，給彼此空間，表達真實的感覺，何嘗不是一種愛的表現？我也發現自己的度量變大了，我不再因為老公沒有大大誇獎我煮的菜好吃，而吝嗇讚美他煮的餐點，我很喜歡吃他煮的海鮮燉飯，以及地中海風味的麵食。對我來說，他煮的一頓愛心晚餐，甚過無數句甜言蜜語。我逐漸感受到，愛情的表達有很多方式，許多事用嘴巴說還算簡單，用行動來表達才真正迷人。

        I once believed that girls who don't love sweet nothings, or flowers and gifts, or words of praise, are few in number. The daily treatment of women is to speak kindly, to concede more, to be more humorous; if such simple things can make women happy, why not do them? This was also once my dissatisfaction and doubt toward my husband. Take a real life example for instance, whenever I put a lot of effort into preparing a hearty dinner for our family, the kids and I often eat it with gusto, but my husband, even when it's delicious, just says "it’s alright", and when he doesn't think it tastes good, he won't even eat! Before, I would always be angry because of this, but gradually, I appreciated the value of "truth", giving each other space to express true feelings, how is that not an expression of love? I also discovered my tolerance greatly increased. I would no longer be stingy with praise for his meals because of his lack of praise for mine, I really like eating his seafood risotto, as well as his Mediterranean pasta. As far as I'm concerned, he cooks a meal from the heart, which is more than any number of sweet nothings. I began to feel that there are many ways to express love, many things can be spoken with the mouth, but that's simple; action is the only truly charming way to express love.

       因著相同的信仰，我和先生擁有不少相同的價值觀，但在性格上，我們之間有許多差異。那些差異豐富了我們的生活，讓我們學習用不同的角度看事情，但也造成不少生活中的衝突與爭執。由於他重視原則和紀律，我重視感受和彈性，所以尤其在教養孩子的事上，就容易產生磨擦。有時候，我會感到很委屈與不被瞭解，每當這個時候，我就會逃到天父的懷抱裡，向天父哭訴，並將我的困難和問題交託給祂。上帝真的很奇妙，祂總是垂聽禱告，祂會更新我和先生的生命景況，祂會安慰我們受傷的心，讓我們從那些看似不愉快的爭執中，學習更多彼此包容、彼此認識、彼此相愛，因為天父上帝是愛的源頭，當我和先生更多親近神，很自然地，我們就能得著更多從神而來的「愛的力量」！

        Because of our shared beliefs, my husband and I have many of the same values, but in character, there are a lot of differences between us. Those differences enrich our lives, letting us learn to see things with a different perspective, but they also cause a fair amount of conflict and discord in our lives. Because he emphasizes principles and discipline, and I emphasize feelings and flexibility, it's easy to generate friction, especially on matters of raising children. Sometimes I'll feel frustrated and misunderstood. Every time this happens, I would run to our Father's arms, crying out to our Father, and entrust Him with my difficulties and problems. God truly is wonderful. He always hears our prayers. He renews mine and my husband's life circumstance, He comforts our wounded hearts, and allows us to, from those seemingly unpleasant disputes, learn even more about tolerating each other, understanding each other, and loving each other. Because God the Father is the source of love, when my husband and I are closer to God, naturally, we're able to get even more of "the power of love" that comes from God!

       婚姻中的夫妻關係，絕非彼此「控制」，而是神賜給彼此的「禮物」，連那些 婚姻生活中的難題、紛爭，都是「禮物」的一部份，為了要使雙方的生命視野更加拓展、更加遼闊，共同拼出一幅絕美風景！

        The relationship of husband and wife in a marriage, is definitely not one of mutual "control"; rather, it is a "gift" given by God to each other, whereby even those married life problems and disputes are all just one part of the "gift", so that both side's life perspective is more expanded, and more vast, together piecing out a beautiful scenery!

作者:譚亞菁 Dec. 18, 2014

Translated by Parker Gadbois

過生活 Live Life

   

    

(本文刊載於國度復興報 2014年11月23日)       

        一條珍珠項鍊，由一顆顆飽滿圓潤的珍珠組成；人的一生，由每一天24小時的生活組成。無論你是誰，每個人都要「過生活」。有一個很基本卻很重要的問題，經常在我腦子裡打轉，那就是「你究竟想過什麼樣的生活？」，這個問題就像山谷裡的回聲，一遍遍在我的心頭蕩漾。

A pearl necklace, made up of fully rounded pearls; a person's life, made up of 24 hours every day for life. No matter who you are, everyone wants to "live life".  There's a very basic yet very important question, which often spins around in my mind, and that is: "what kind of life do you really want to live?" This question is like an echo in a valley, rippling in my mind over and over again.

        有一則關於「釣魚」的故事，讓這個問題更加鮮明，這則耐人尋味的故事說到：有一位年長的富翁，在一個平靜的小島釣魚，他每天都會遇到一位島上的土著，與他一起釣魚。但這位土著每天只釣一條魚就回家。有一天，富翁問土著：你為何不多釣幾條魚？土著回答：我每天吃一條魚就足夠了。富翁說：你多釣ㄧ些魚，可以到市場賣魚賺錢，有了錢就可以去買漁網，捕更多魚。土著問：然後呢？富翁答：你可以把更多魚拿去賣，然後就可以買一艘漁船，捕捉到更多的魚，甚至還可以請人來幫你捕魚去賣。土著問：然後呢？富翁答：然後你也可以成為富翁，和我一樣悠閒地釣魚。土著說：我現在不是正悠閒地和你一起釣魚嗎？富翁霎時無言以對。然後土著就拿著魚，開心地哼著歌回家了。

There's a story about "fishing", that'll make this question even more clear-cut, it's an intriguing story that goes like this: there's an elderly rich man, fishing on a calm island, and every day he would encounter a man indigenous to the island, and they would fish together. But every day the indigenous man would only catch one fish and go home. One day, the rich man asked the aboriginal, "why don't you catch a few more fish?" The aboriginal replied "I eat one fish every day, it is enough." The rich man said," if you catch some more fish, you can go to the market, sell the fish, and make money. With the money, you can buy a fishing net, and catch even more fish." The aboriginal said, "and then what?" The rich man replied "you can take more fish to sell, then you can buy a fishing boat, catch more fish, and even bring someone along to help you catch and sell fish." The aboriginal asked, "and then what?" The rich man replied, "then you too can become rich and fish leisurely like I do." The aboriginal replied "am I not leisurely fishing with you right now?" The millionaire was speechless. Then the aboriginal took his fish and happily hummed his way home.

       這篇故事很寫實，在真實生活中，許多人就好比那位年長的富翁，從年輕到中壯年，這段人生的精華時期，都在為金錢打拼，為名利奮戰。日復一日，年復一年，大部份的寶貴光陰，都消磨在自己不感興趣的工作上；等到步入中老年之後，精神和體力都大不如從前，才開始過自己真正想要的生活！

This story is realistic. In real life, many people are just like the elderly rich man, who, from youth till middle age, the essence of one's life, are working hard for money, fighting for fame and fortune. Day after day, year after year, a majority of precious time is wasted away in work that is of no interest to us; waiting until after we retire at an old age, when our mental and physical strength isn't as great as before, before we start living the life we actually wanted!

       辛苦了大半輩子，繞了好大一圈，終於回到「幸福」 的原點，這是何苦呢？

       反觀那位島上的土著，他懂得知足常樂，每天能悠閒地釣魚，開心地哼歌，享受人生的 「小確幸」和家庭的溫暖，誰能說他不「幸福」呢？

Half a lifetime of hardship, comes around in a full, enormous circle, until finally returning to the original point of "happiness". Why does this have to be so?

By contrast, the island aboriginal, understood that “happiness lies in contentment”; every day he leisurely fished, happily hummed, enjoying life’s little pleasures and the warmth of his family. So who's to say he's not "happy"?

       閉上眼睛，聆聽心底最真實的聲音，「你究竟想過什麼樣的生活？」「什麼樣的生活」能讓你感受到真正的滿足？難道「幸福」和「滿足」的人生，果真來自於開名車、住豪宅、穿戴名牌、品嚐名貴佳餚，看到存款簿的數字不斷增加？

       或者來自於追求名利，受人稱羨崇拜？然而，無論ㄧ個人多麼有錢有勢、有名有利，他都必須回歸生活的本質，回到人與人之間「愛與被愛」的關係。

Close your eyes, listen to the heart of your most authentic voice, "what kind of life do you really want to live?" "what kind of life" will make you feel truly content?  Do you really think "happy" and "content" lives really come from driving famous cars, living in luxury, wearing designer clothes, tasting rare delicacies, and seeing deposit book balances constantly increasing?

Or does it come from the pursuit of fame and fortune, to receive the admiration and worship of others? Actually, regardless of how much money or power, fame or fortune an individual has, he still needs to return to the essence of life, return to the "love and be loved" relationship between people.  

       有一件事是可以確定的：人世間最寶貴的東西，絕對是再多的金錢與名利都換不到的，因為那是「無價之寶」！換句話說，生活中充滿愈多「無價之寶」，就擁有愈多真實的「幸福」！ 親情無價、友情無價、愛情無價、健康無價、喜樂無價、平安無價、自由無價、知足無價、感恩無價、生命無價，你我都是神所創造的「無價珍寶」！

One thing is for sure: the most precious thing in the world, cannot be bought or traded for more wealth or fame, because that thing is "priceless"! In other words, when life is filled with more "priceless", then we have more true "happiness"! Affection is priceless, friendship is priceless, love is priceless, health is priceless, joy is priceless, peace is priceless, freedom is priceless, contentment is priceless, gratitude is priceless, life is priceless, you and me both are "priceless" creations of God!

       當我抱持著這樣的信念，很自然地，我選擇回歸家庭，過著「陪伴孩子成長」 的生活。對我來說，既然孩子是神所創造最獨特的「無價珍寶」，那麼能將神賜給我的兩個小男孩照顧好，就是我最大的成就感。我喜歡帶孩子們遊山玩水，從大自然和玩樂中學習。我們選擇就讀陽明山上的公立小學，拋開所謂的競爭力，拒絕補習文化，因為我相信「學習」是一輩子的事，從小培養孩子敏銳的觀察力、適度的好奇心，和自我學習能力，才能終身學習，「活到老，學到老」；我也深信等孩子長大後，他們不會再為兒時某次考試一百分而沾沾自喜，卻會牢記童年時期與父母、手足、同學、朋友一起參與的活動、遊戲或旅行，以及一起共享的歡笑歲月。這些都是無價的生命資產！

When I hold onto this kind of conviction, naturally, I choose to return home, and live a life of “nurturing children as they grow up”. For me, since a child is the most unique "priceless" treasure created by God, then taking care of my two little boys that God gave me, is my greatest accomplishment. I like to take the kids sightseeing, to learn from nature and having fun. We chose to let them study at a public primary school on Yangmingshan, which puts aside so-called competitiveness, and rejects cram-school culture, because I believe "learning" is a life-long affair, when they’re young, cultivate a child's keen powers of observation, moderate curiosity, and self leaning abilities, so that they become life-long learners, "live till you're old, learn till you're old". I also believe that after the kids have grown up, they won't be smug about how as a kid they scored 100 points on a test, instead they will always remember their childhood, and the events, games, or travel that they participated in with their parents, brothers, classmates, and friends, as well as the years of laughter they shared together. These are all priceless life assets!

      「過生活」是ㄧ門藝術，也是一生的學習，需要勇氣、智慧、夢想、信心、愛心……這些五顏六色的彩筆，在生命的畫布上，揮灑出生活的色彩。那是一種「踏實的幸福感」，我心嚮往之！

"Living life" is an art, and it takes a lifetime of study, requiring courage, wisdom, dreams, faith, love....these colorful crayons, on the canvas of life, compose the colors of life. That's the kind of "practical sense of happiness" I yearn for!

作者:譚亞菁 Oct. 12, 2014

Translated by Parker Gadbois

甜點的滋味 The Taste of Dessert

作者:譚亞菁 / Translated by Parker Gadbois  

飯後，走著走著，

突然想念起甜點的滋味，

好想來一份甜品呀！ 

I'm walking around after dinner,

and I suddenly long for the taste of dessert,

and I kinda want to get one! 

隨意走進路邊一家老店「一＊軒」，

隨意選了這個看起來挺美味的蛋塔，

隨意坐在窗邊桌椅區享用這份思念， 

Casually, I walk into an old shop, ' Yi ＊Xuan ' on the side of the road,

Casually, I pick this very delicious looking egg tart,

Casually, I sit in the seating area by the window and enjoy the nostalgia,

抬起頭，雀躍地發現，

竟有一只優雅燭台，就在我正前方， 

是要為我慶祝什麼嗎？ 

I raise my head, excited to find,

an unexpected and elegant candelabra, right in front of me,

What is it celebrating for me?

剎那間，蛋塔似乎化身為小蛋糕，

就來許個願吧！ 

In that instant, it was as if the tart became a small cake,

just waiting to be wished upon!

每一天，都是上帝的恩典，

每一天，都是值得慶賀的日子！ 

Everyday, is full of God's grace,

Everyday, is always a day worth celebrating!

心情極短篇 ~ 在圖與文之間 Capturing the Moments ~ in the space between picture and text

作者:譚亞菁 / Translated by Parker Gadbois

關於花落、花開，眼光與生命的一串小詩......
A string of poems about wilting, blooming, insights and life......

一片荷花落葉,

落葉的線條與姿態,
自成另一幅風景,
像一隻優雅的粉紅天鵝？

A fallen lotus leaf,

Deciduous lines and posture,

A unique landscape in itself,

or perhaps an elegant pink swan?

還記得一個令我印象深刻的國學考題如下：

“春風又綠江南岸”
這裡的“綠”是什麼詞性？
答案：動詞！（意味著春天的綠意盎然和生命活力）

沒錯, 走在荷花池邊,
我感受到“綠是動詞”！

I still remember an impressionable question from the Sinology Exam,

it goes as follows:

"Spring wind again greens the southern bank"

The "green" here is what part of speech?

Answer: A verb! (meaning the green of spring is full of life and vitality)

Indeed, walking beside the lotus pool

I get that "green is the verb" feeling!

玉蘭,
才短短兩天,
妳失去了原有的白皙,
但乾燥後的妳,
竟依舊散發淡雅迷人的香氣,
欣賞妳的堅持,
堅持散發馨香之氣, 
讓妳周遭的人,
心靈被滋潤著......
謝謝妳, 玉蘭,
讓我看見另一種美麗,
窗外的綠意,
也遮不住妳的美！

Magnolia,

After only two days,

You lost your original fair complexion,

But the you after a dry,

Unexpectedly still exudes a charming and elegant aroma.

I appreciate your perseverance,

to insist on emitting a pleasant smell,

Giving the people around you,

a mind nourished by Magnolia....

Thank you, Magnolia,

for letting me see another kind of beautiful,

the green outside the window,

is not enough to hide your beauty!

有一天, 我們都會漸漸老去, 也許外表就像這乾燥的玉蘭, 不再光鮮亮麗,

但惟願能繼續散發生命的馨香, 就像這玉蘭......

A day will come, when all of us will be getting older, perhaps on the outside looking just like a dried Magnolia, no longer glamorous, but may we all be able to continue emitting the fragrance of life, just like the Magnolia....

玉蘭花的迴響

Rebecca Lo (麗芳) :

這倒讓我想起愛默生來了。他有首「紫陀羅花」的詩作，是這樣說的：「樹林裏一個潮濕的角落，有新鮮的紫陀羅花，展開她無葉的花朵…那紫色的花瓣落到池塘裏，使那黑水也變為艷麗。…

紫陀羅花，若有哲人問你，為什麼在天地間浪費你的美？你告訴他們…美麗的自身就是存在的理由…」 如果美麗的自身就是存在的理由，那麼生命的本身就是存在的見證，像你的玉蘭花。

謝謝妳, Rebecca! 好動人的分享和回應, 這首「紫陀羅花」所展現的圖像和意涵太美了, 讓我想哭......真的, 生命的本身, 就是最美的存在和見證, 任何人都不例外！

Magnolia's Echo

Rebecca Lo (Li Fang):

This made me think of Emerson. His poem "The Rhodora", has these lines:

"I found the fresh Rhodora in the woods, Spreading its leafless blooms in a damp nook....The purple petals fallen in the pool. Made the black water with their beauty gay...Rhodora! if the sages ask thee why. This charm is wasted on the earth and sky, Tell them, dear, that, if eyes were made for seeing, Then beauty is its own excuse for Being"

If beauty itself is a reason for existence, then life itself is a testimony to existence, just like your Magnolia.

Thank you Rebecca! What a heartfelt share and response, for the poem "The Rhodora", the images depicted and the meaning is so beautiful, it made me want to cry...indeed, life itself, is the most beautiful existence and testimony, without exception!

親愛的主啊, 創造我的天父, 

感謝祢賜下生命力, 
無論我用什麼眼光看待自己, 而祢總是看見我開花的潛能！
主啊, 願祢復活的生命大能時刻充滿我, 好讓我的生命能為祢而綻放！
奉耶穌的名禱告, 阿們！ 

Dearest Lord, my Father the Creator,

Thank you for granting life,

No matter what way I choose to see myself, You have always seen my blooming potential!

Lord, may Your almighty resurrection of life always empower me, 
so that my life can bloom for You!

In Jesus's name I pray, Amen!

今天狂風四起, 
天空的雲朵跑得特別快, 變化多端！
試著從不同角度欣賞101的獨特,
發現樹叢中的101,
好不一樣的感受！

Today fierce winds rose from all directions,

Clouds in the sky were moving so fast, constantly changing!

While trying to enjoy 101's uniqueness from different angles,

I discovered 101 in a bush,

what a different experience!