四位少婦的對話 A Conversation Between Four Young Wives

 
    
    某天中午，我趕時間要去辦事情，就在方便快速的麥當勞用餐。當我正坐下來準備享用食物，聽見耳邊傳來一連串對話，這會特別引起我的注意，除了因為他們說話聲音太大，最主要的原因是，我覺得他們的對話內容，有一種好不真實的感覺，似乎連續劇中的對白，卻在真實生活中上演！那是來自我隔壁桌，四位少婦的對談：

    At noon one day, I was short on time for running errands, so I got a meal in a McDonald's, quick and convenient. As I was sitting down to enjoy some food, I heard a series of conversations from the corner of my ear. This particularly caught my attention, but not just because their gossiping voices were too loud. The main reason was that I thought the content of their discussion had a kind of insincere feeling to it, as if it were a soap opera dialogue, but one that was being performed in real life! It came from the table next to me, a conversation between four young wives:

    甲婦面帶愁容，安靜聆聽她的朋友說話。

  乙婦說：「妳老公買了兩套衣服，妳也要跟著買，現在妳老公都不想帶妳出門了，如何抓住他的心。」

  丙婦說：「連妳老公、小孩都嫌棄妳了，妳要去整整衣服和髮型了。」

  丁婦說：「一天當中，只要有人（甚至路人）說妳好漂亮，氣色好好哇! 妳整個人就會高興不得了，精神就來了！」

  乙婦說：「妳悶著一張苦瓜臉，老實說，連我都不想接近妳了……」

  我實在忍不住轉頭看看她們說話的神情，是那麼「自以為是的自信」，我心想：「天啊！這是怎樣的一羣『朋友』啊！」

    The first woman looked rather worried as she quietly listened to her friends talk.

    The second woman said: " Your husband bought two sets of clothes, so you should buy two sets. Your husband doesn't even take you out anymore, how are you keeping him interested?"

    The third woman said: "Even though your husband and your children despise you, you should go all out for the clothes and hairstyles."

    The fourth woman said: "During the day, all you need are people (even people on the street) to say how beautiful you are and how great your complexion is! You'll be sooo happy, and energetic too!"

    The second woman said: "You and your bunched up bitter face, honestly, even I don't want to be near you...."

    I really couldn't help but turn my head and look at their expressions, which were just that "I am sooo self-confident" look. I thought to myself "My goodness, how is this a group of friends?!"

    就在此時，甲婦的兒子來找她，只對她說了一句「我要走了！」然後她小孩就真的掉頭就走、說走就走，非常有個性，也不管媽媽是否還要留下來……此刻，我終於聽見甲婦說話了，她大喊一聲「兒子~~」就追了出去，我望著她孤寂的背影，耳邊聽見她的朋友說：「她能怪誰呢？只能怪自己，誰叫她要讓小孩牽著鼻子走！」此時此刻，我覺得她的背影顯得更加孤寂無奈了……

    At that moment, the son of the first woman came up, and only said to her "I wanna go!" then her son turned and left—I wanna go so let's go. He was really rude, and also didn't care if his mom still wanted to stay or not.....then, I finally heard the first woman speak: she shouted, "…son!" and followed him out. I stared at her lonely silhouette and overheard her friend say "Who is she to blame? She can only blame herself. Who's the one letting her own child lead her by the nose?!" At that moment, I thought her silhouette looked even more lonely and helpless...

    雖然我不認識她，我卻為她感到難過，我幾乎可以想像，她的婚姻與家庭生活充滿了恐懼不安，她得不到家人的關愛與尊重，甚至週遭朋友也帶給她無形的傷害，她的遭遇真讓人有一種難以言喻的悲哀！

    Although I don't know her, I really felt sorry for her. I can almost imagine how her marriage and family life must be full of fear and anxiety, how she doesn't receive a family's love and respect. Even being around friends gives her an invisible pain. Her misfortune would really make people feel a kind of indescribable sadness!

    然而，在這同時，我也不由自主地想起我的先生和孩子，我內心突然升起由衷的感謝，因為我從來不必擔心要如何穿著打扮來取悅丈夫，從來不曾煩惱要如何抓住他的心，而我的孩子最愛對我甜言蜜語，似乎無論我看起來如何，我永遠都是他們心目中最最漂亮可愛的媽咪！我的家人是如此接納我、關愛我、肯定我，讓我的婚姻與家庭生活充滿安全感與自由！

    At the same time, however, I couldn't help but think of my husband and children. My heart suddenly rises to a heartfelt gratitude, because I've never had to worry about how to dress in order to please my husband, I've never once had to fret over how to keep him interested, and my children love to say the most sweetest things to me, it seems like no matter how I look, in their minds I'll always be the absolute most prettiest cutest mommy! My family accepts me like this, and loves me, the real me, which makes my marriage and family life filled with a sense of security and freedom!

    婚姻中那份安全感和自由自在是何其寶貴，遠勝過任何浪漫感受。聖經「箴言」中有一句話說：「艷麗是虛假的，美容是虛浮的，惟敬畏耶和華的婦女必得稱讚！」（箴言31：30） 我相信「自然就是美」，從內在生命所散發出的光芒才是真正的美麗，你同意嗎？也許我們都能愈老愈美麗！

     In a marriage, that sense of security and freedom is so precious, and far better than any kind of romantic feeling. In the Bible, the book of Proverbs has a saying, "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised!" (Proverbs 31:30) I believe that "what is natural is beautiful" and that the brilliant radiance of life emitting from within us all is the only true beauty, don't you agree? Perhaps we all can become more beautiful as we age!

作者:譚亞菁 Oct.21, 2012

Translated by Parker Gadbois

感動力 The Power to Feel

 

        前陣子有一位我最欣賞的節目主持人說了一段話，令我印象深刻，她說：「我一直覺得，能夠在心中有感動，是很重要的能力，沒有感動，就沒有幸福。」怪不得，我從小就喜歡看她主持的節目，她不僅說話幽默、分寸合宜、充滿智慧，還有一種特別的親切感，一種真情的流露。她能夠成為這麼受歡迎的主持人，我想最主要的原因，是因為她擁有「感動的能力」

        A while back, one of my most admirable show hosts said some things that left a deep impression on me. She said “I’ve always thought, for our hearts to have the capacity to be moved, is an important ability; without feeling there can be no joy.” No wonder, ever since I was little, I liked to watch the shows she hosts. She not only speaks with humor, poise, and wisdom, but also with a special kind of intimacy, a kind of sincerity. The reason she was able to become such a popular host, I think for the most part, is because she possesses “an ability to feel”!

        在這個凡事講究效率、競爭力的時代，似乎那種懂得去感覺、去感動的能力卻隨之減弱。但若細心觀察則不難發現，那些社會上的傑出人士，舉凡一些成功的音樂家、畫家、導演、作家、教育家、企業家……他們成功的因素，除了對目標的堅持、執著與努力不懈之外，通常還包括一種寶貴的能力，就是「感動力」！ 也許只是一個歷盡滄桑的背影、一雙閃閃發亮的眼神、一道美麗動人的彩虹、一句中肯的鼓勵、一個貼心的幫助、一抹真心的微笑……都因著用心去感受周遭，善用「感動力」，而讓周遭的一切不再理所當然，而是充滿大大小小的感動，成為創作的靈感泉源，帶來無限的創意！

        In an age where everything is focused on efficiency and competitiveness, it seems like that certain kind of understanding of how to feel, the ability to feel, has actually diminished. However, when carefully observed, it's easy to see that the heroic figures in our society, all of those successful musicians, painters, directors, writers, educators, entrepreneurs ...... and their factors for success, in addition to persistence, dedication and hard work toward their goals, typically also includes a valuable ability: the power to feel! Perhaps it is the silhouette of someone enduring hardship, a pair of sparkly shiny eyes, a beautiful and touching rainbow, poignant words of encouragement, a thoughtful helping hand, a sincere smile...only by intentionally feeling our surroundings do we utilize 'the power to feel', which no longer allows everything around us to be taken for granted, but rather fills us with feelings large and small, becoming the source for creative inspiration, bringing us unlimited creativity!

        生活中缺乏感動的能力，就缺乏幸福。今天什麼事令你感動，或者你帶給誰感動嗎？我很喜歡聖經創世記說到，神創造了世上萬物，「祂看著一切所造的都甚好」。我相信去發現萬事萬物、包括每個人，原先被創造的美麗與獨特，會帶給我們最真實的感動。尤其當我得知，在白茫茫的雪地裡，每一片小雪花都各自擁有自己的特色，竟然沒有一片小雪花的結晶是相同的，這更讓我確信，那位創造主是多麼看重祂所造的一切，連一片小雪花都不例外，都擁有那獨一無二的美麗，更何況我和你！

        A life lacking the ability to feel is a life lacking happiness. What happened today that made you feel, or did you make someone feel? I really like the Book of Genesis where it says that God created all things in this earth: "He saw all that he had made, and it was very good". I believe that realizing all things and everything, including every person, were inherently created to be beautiful and unique, will bring us the truest feeling. Especially when I learned that in the vast expanses of white snow, every single snowflake has its very own characteristics, in fact, no two snowflake crystals are alike. This makes me confident that our creator has placed so much importance on all His creations, even the tiniest snowflake is not overlooked, such that each snowflake possesses a one of a kind beauty, not to mention me and you!

        上回去金山海邊時，在藍天白雲的襯托下，海水顯得格外湛藍，再加上海岸邊高聳壯麗的岩石、岩洞，讓人忍不住想拍照留念。然而，正當我和友人手拿相機、踩著浪花，踏上一塊海中大石頭，準備捕捉某個鏡頭時，我卻一不小心在石頭上滑倒，整個人連同相機滑入海水中，我的心愛相機就這樣泡水壞掉了……當下雖然心痛，但反而學習「用眼睛當相機，用心靈當底片」，壯闊美景不再侷限於相機框框中，不再急著拍照、錄影，而是專心活在當下，全心感受周遭景緻，盡情享受與家人朋友的互動同樂，那天我看見了相機之外的另一片風景，似乎更加迷人、真實、動人！

        The last time I went to Jinshan beach, against a backdrop of blue sky and white clouds, the sea an extraordinary deep blue, and all along the coast the towering and majestic rocks and caves, we couldn’t help but want to take pictures. Well, just as a friend and I were taking out our cameras, stepping out on the waves, treading atop a large boulder in the sea, I was preparing to snap a shot, but I accidentally slipped on a stone, and my whole body, along with my camera, fell into the ocean. This is how my beloved camera became waterlogged and ruined. I was heartbroken, but only momentarily, because I learned that "when you use your eyes as a camera, your soul becomes the photograph". The magnificent scenery was no longer confined to the camera's frame, there was no longer a rush to take pictures or video, there was only focus on living in the moment, all of my being took in the surrounding views, indulged in the enjoyment of interacting and having fun with friends and family. That day, I saw another kind of scenery outside the camera, and it seems more charming, real, and moving!

        在生活中偶爾放下相機、放下手機，脫離所謂的「手機低頭族」，用單純的心去專心感受周遭，恢復你的「感動力」，尋回生命中的「甚好」！笛卡爾的經典名言「我思故我在」，帶給我許多啟發，如今我想說：我「感動」故我在……

         In life occasionally put down the camera, put down the phone, break away from the so called "smartphone addicts", and with a pure heart focus on your surroundings, restore your 'power to feel', put the "very good" back in your life! Descartes' classic and famous "I think therefore I am" gives me a lot of inspiration, and now I want to say: " 'I feel' therefore I am…"

作者:譚亞菁 Oct.11, 2012

Translated by Parker Gadbois

另類接機 An exceptional pickup

(本文刊載於聯合報 2012年11月2日 繽紛版 / 2013年10月講義雜誌轉載)

    
    談到去機場接機，當然不是什麼特別的事，但是我第一次自己開車去接機的經驗，真的很另類! 因為我不知道對方搭什麼班機、幾點的班次、在第幾航廈，而且完全沒有和對方約好，竟然還能在這麼大的國際機場順利接到人！真的很厲害，也很戲劇化吧! 
  Let's face it, going to the airport isn't anything out of the ordinary, but my first experience driving a car to the airport by myself is definitely an exception! I wasn't sure of my party's flight number, flight time, or terminal, and didn't even make the proper arrangements, yet to my surprise I was still able to make a smooth pickup at such a huge international airport! Pretty impressive right? It was pretty dramatic too!

    前陣子，我先生去新加坡出差一週，他要回台北當天早上，來電告訴我，他和同事大約會在中午搭飛機回台灣，他們會自己搭大眾交通工具回家。由於我平日較少開高速公路，再加上當天我必須去鶯歌參加好朋友的「新家落成Party」，所以我並不打算去接機。
  A while back, my husband went to Singapore on business for a week. On the morning of his return to Taipei, he called to tell me him and his colleague figured they'd take the noon flight back to Taiwan, and then each take public transportation home. Now normally, I don't always drive on the highway, plus I had to go to my close friend's Housewarming Party in YingGe that day, so I really hadn't planned on driving to the airport.

突發奇想
    在好友的新家，我們欣賞鶯歌小鎮的風光，享受豐盛的美食，以及溫暖的友情。就在下午將要離開的時候，屋外突然下起傾盆大雨，也許雨實在太大了，我竟突然有ㄧ個感動，決定要帶著孩子去機場接機，免得老公在滂沱大雨中提著行李回家……當然！我們也想順便給他ㄧ個大驚喜！

    我只聽說鶯歌離桃園機場不遠，至於究竟要怎麼開去機場，我並不清楚。然而，我得承認，我喜歡生活中的小小冒險，以開車來說，我喜愛開車去任何嚮往的地方，就算路線不熟，但我會看著路上指標開車，而且我特別喜歡「看路標」 的感覺，因這會讓我聯想到：在漫長的人生道路上，我們會遇到許多十字路口，或面臨各式各樣的問題，我們是多麼需要正確的指引，來幫助我們作出智慧的抉擇。我相信「聖經」就是神的話，就好比路上的指標一樣，能為我們人生各個層面提供引導與正確的方向，讓我們能走上被神保護和祝福的道路！

Acting on a whim
  At my friend's new house, we were taking in the scenery of the town, enjoying a hearty meal and the warmth of friendship. In the afternoon just when I was about to leave, there was a sudden downpour of rain outside the house. Perhaps there was simply too much rain, for I suddenly had a notion: I was going to bring my kids to the airport to pick up my husband so that he wouldn't get caught hauling luggage in this torrential rain on his way home...and that was that! We were going to give him a big surprise!     

  I'd only heard that YinGe wasn't far from TaoYuan airport, but as for knowing exactly how to get there, I wasn't quite sure. However, I must admit, I enjoy life's little adventures, and as far as driving goes, I love driving to any desirable place. Even if I don't know the route, I'll still look out for the road signs, because I really like that "watching the signs" feeling. It just makes me think, on this long road of our lives, we'll come across many crossroads, or be confronted with all kinds of problems. We will then have a great need for proper guidance to help us make wise decisions. I believe The Bible is the word of God, and just like the signs on the road, it's able to offer guidance and direction for every aspect of our lives, allowing us to walk down the path that is protected and blessed by God!

勇氣
    其實，我也不知道是哪來的勇氣，基本上我只知道老公會在中午從新加坡上飛機，其餘的航班資訊，我一概不知，外加在豪大雨中，又路況不熟，而且和老公完全沒有約好的情況下，我展開生平第一次自己開車去接機的旅程。然而，我就是有ㄧ種莫名的信心會接到他，當然在開車的過程中，我ㄧ路向神禱告，求神幫助，因為只有神能安排最奇妙的時間點和各樣環節，祂會帶領一切，無論是大事或小事！
Courage
  Actually, I don't even know where the courage came from. Basically, I only knew my husband would fly in from Singapore that afternoon, and as for any other information about the flight, I was clueless, not to mention the heavy rain, unfamiliar roads, and no prior arrangements for the pickup. And so, for the first time in my life driving to the airport by myself, I set out on the journey.
Somehow, I had this strange sense of confidence I would meet up with him, of course while driving, I'd pray to God, asking for His help, because only God can arrange the most wonderful timing, and a marvelous series of events. Whether the matter be big or small, He will lead all. 

神奇的Timing
    我看著高速公路上的指標，順利開到桃園國際機場，我直覺他應該是搭「新加坡航空」吧！我找到「新航SQ」是在第二航廈，於是我把車暫停在第二航廈門口，跑進去看「航班時刻看板」，原本沒發現下午有SQ的班機，正有點想放棄時，突然瞄到看板換第二頁，立刻看到有一班四點五十分到達的「新加坡航空」，而此時，我看看手錶，我到機場的時間是四點五十五分，我直覺老公一定是搭這架班機，所以他的飛機才剛降落，而要出海關約三十分鐘，這個Timing太奇妙了！我立刻匆匆忙忙帶孩子去停車，然後一路衝到入境大廳，我們三人六隻眼睛，直盯著入境出口的電視螢幕，深怕我們會錯過老公的身影，結果半個多小時後，老公和他的同事真的出現了！我大叫他的名字，而兩個孩子也熱情地從走廊的一端朝爸爸奔跑過去，邊跑邊叫「爸爸~爸爸~」，還真是感人的畫面啊！而老公當然是又驚又喜，嚇一大跳我們會去接他！我內心好感謝神，讓我們真的順利接到他，我也不禁讚嘆神所預備的Timing，和放在我心中的勇氣與直覺！
Perfect Timing
  Following the signs on the highway, I made it smoothly to TaoYuan International Airport. I thought that he probably flew Singapore Airlines right? I saw 'SQ' was at terminal 2 and stopped the car at the terminal entrance, then I ran inside to look at the flight schedule. At first, I didn't find any afternoon flights for Singapore Airlines, but just as I was about to give up, I glanced down when the display suddenly switched to a second page and immediately saw a 4:50pm flight from Singapore Airlines. Then, I checked my watch. I got to the airport at 4:55pm, and instinct told me my husband definitely took this flight, so his plane just landed and getting out of customs should take about thirty minutes, this was some great timing!  In haste, I immediately took the kids to park the car, then ran all the way to the arrival hall. We've got six eyes between the three of us, all staring at the TV screens in the hall's exit, afraid we might miss spotting my husband's figure, but over a half hour later, my husband and his colleague showed up! I called out his name, and our two boys ran with enthusiasm from one end of the corridor to their father, running and shouting "daddy, daddy!" It was such a moving sight! And of course my husband was surprised and delighted, shocked that we came to pick him up! In my heart, I was thanking God, helping us pick up my husband without a hitch and for putting the necessary instinct and courage in my heart. I also couldn't help but praise God for his timing!

美中不足
    我正得意自己既完美又浪漫的接機行動時，卻發現怎麼找不到我們的車子！由於剛剛匆忙停車，然後ㄧ路衝刺，怕錯過他出來的時間，所以我沒有仔細記得停車場的路徑。對我們來說，這時的停車場就像ㄧ個大迷宮，老公拉著重重的行李，拖著疲憊的身體，跟著我們在停車場繞來繞去，折騰了老半天，好不容易找到車子，我竟然又差點找不到車鑰匙和停車票！從老公的表情，我知道他可能覺得：我早就說你們不用來接我呀！我早知道自己回去就好了！而我卻覺得，無論如何，我們可是這麼有誠意和勇氣來接他，他怎麼可以有ㄧ絲不悅？
    這就是婚姻！婚姻生活中有驚喜、甜蜜，也有美中不足，和許多需要相互包容的時刻。聖經說：「凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐，愛是永不止息」（哥林多前書十三7-8）我相信這是通往幸福人生的「路標」！你呢？
Nothing is perfect
  It's when I was taking pride in a perfect and romantically executed airport pickup, that I realized I couldn't find our car!  I had just hastily parked the car and sprinted away, worried we'd miss him on his way out, so I didn't carefully remember the way through the parking lot. As far as we were concerned, this time the parking lot was like a big maze. My husband, tugging along with his heavy luggage, dragging around his exhausted body, followed us all over the parking lot for a long time, until we finally found the car. Then, unexpectedly, I almost couldn't find the car keys or parking ticket! From my husband's expression I knew what he was thinking: "I told you before you didn't have to pick me up. I should have just gone home by myself." But me, I was thinking regardless, we were so sincere and courageous to come and pick him up, how could he be the least bit miserable? 
  Well, that's marriage for you! Married life has surprises, joy, and imperfections, as well as the many moments of necessary mutual tolerance. The Bible says "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends" (I Corinthians 13:7-8). I believe this "road sign" can lead us to a life of happiness! What do you think?

作者:譚亞菁 May.3, 2012

Translated by Parker Gadbois